Thursday, November 11, 2010
Life and Death
While away, my husband told me that his Mom wasn't feeling well and that his Dad wasn't too much better. She was seeing a doctor for blood in her urine, while Poppa had stomach pains. Well, I thought, they're both seeing doctors and should be okay. It wasn't until I got home, that I realized that this could be serious. Meme had a cat scan done on Wednesday and no one called with results, she was in the ER by that Sunday night where we got the first bad news. I don't want to get into details, as the news got worse as time moved on. Two weeks later, Meme was in the hospital, with metastatic cancer and we were scrambling to get her into hospice as my father in law was diagnosed with gastritis and was unable to care for her at home. The four grandchildren who lived away were called and flew home from all around the country to visit with Meme while she was still able to enjoy their company. The day after the last grandchild went home, Meme's health took a turn for the worse at hospice and she peacefully passed away last Friday morning. We term the time from the initial ER visit as the quickest/longest time. The illness was so quickly overtaking her as we waited for results.
Meme was 85 years old, she lived life to the fullest and was the homemaker who ruled the nest. Her family was the most important thing in her life. We are happy that we were able to honor her life by following her last wishes, no treatment and a simple funeral. During her time at the hospital and hospice, we had the chance to learn even more about her life. Fortunately, the hospice is located on the hospital campus where I work, close to family and accessible to us 24/7. The end result was not surprising, it was just that 6 weeks ago, it was unimaginable that it would be so quick.
So yes, life and death got in the way, but I was off doing what I felt needed to be done at the time. Coordinating my sons' quick weekend trip home, cooking for the family and visiting with my Mother in law. This was the important life work that goes along with being part of a family. The housework didn't get done, the leaves didn't get raked, bulbs weren't planted and I did what needed to get done in the short time that we had left. It all got done after Friday.
I guess some writers would have a lot to write about given the emotional roller coaster I was on. It's just not my style to write in such emotional detail. But this is what I can say, I am proud of my sons for coming home to visit their Grandmother and to make her smile. She loved them all equally and I gave her permission to haunt them everyone once in awhile. To which she replied, "No, I will haunt you instead."