For this week, I have made the Thursday 13 a family endeavor, since my boys' favorite topic of conversation revolves around farts. I present to you a list of names for farts that we have used and some fartastic vocabulary used in our home. I have to preface this all by stating that my mother claims that she has never farted and is personally repulsed by my immediate family's need to pass gas and then make comments. If you really want to know more about farting, there is a web site called Facts on Farts and the author answers all questions related to farts. I could write a list based on that web page, but that would be plagiarism, so here it is, all about us.
1. Breaking wind: This is the term that I called passing gas when I was a kid.
2. Shooting ducks: Cousins in Nova Scotia grew up with this term.
3.Passing Gas: Is this like walking by a gas station? Why not call it emitting gas?
4. Farting: According to the Medical Dictionary of Popular Medical Terms: Fart: This is not an accepted medical word for passing gas. Excess gas in the intestinal is medically termed "flatulence." (But what is excess gas is difficult to define since symptom-free individuals have recorded approximately 14 passages of gas per 24 hours!)
Here are terms to describe types of flatulence experienced by members of my family.
5. Nocturnal flatulence: Farting while sleeping
6. Clam Dip Fart: Emitted by one son in a closed car which had an epic smell.
7. Waa Hoo Fart: The after buffalo wings or Mexican food flatulence.
8. What a relief Fart: After being held in for so long while in school or with other people, the fart emitted once home among family or in the car.
9. One Cheek special: Lift one cheek up and release with a brother sitting close by.
10. Pull my Finger: Do I need to describe this?
11. Give me a hug: It's the pull my finger but with more feeling.
12. After farting, end your statement with: "said enfartically"
13. Juicy fart: Gross enough that others have to ask if you need to go check your underwear.
I promise to try to bring some class back to this blog, it's tough living with four guys!
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